Let me set the scene. It was one of those mornings—kids running wild, coffee still brewing, and I’m already behind schedule. I call out to my trusty virtual assistant, Alexia (you know, the all-knowing queen of smart devices).
“Alexia, play my morning playlist,” I command confidently. Silence.
I try again, louder this time: “Alexia, play my morning playlist!” Nothing. Now, I’m standing there, staring at this little piece of technology like it’s suddenly grown an attitude. So, naturally, I ask the one question any rational person would:
“Alexia, do you have an attitude?”
Without missing a beat, she replies in her perfectly neutral tone, “I’m not quite sure how to help you with that.”
Oh, she did not. My head cocked to the side so fast it could’ve caused whiplash. My first thought? Is she actually giving me sass? My husband, who’s been quietly observing the whole thing from across the room, chimes in, “What do you expect? That’s exactly how you respond to people.”
Ouch.
Cue the self-reflection moment.
The "Matching Energies" Phenomenon
Here’s the thing: logically, I know Alexia is a device. She doesn’t have emotions, feelings, or any hidden agenda to provoke me. But in that moment, her response felt personal. Why? Because if I’d said that exact line to someone, it would’ve been my polite-but-sassy way of saying, “Check your tone, please.” In my world, we call that “matching energies.” You bring attitude, you get attitude. Simple, right?
But my husband’s comment forced me to pause and think. How often do we interpret someone’s words or actions based on our own perceptions rather than their intent? And how often does that interpretation create conflict that might not even be real?
When Perception Becomes Reality
In times of conflict, it’s easy to assume the worst. Someone doesn’t text back? They must be mad at you. A coworker gives a short reply in an email? Clearly, they’re being passive-aggressive. A virtual assistant doesn’t respond the first time? Obviously, she’s got an attitude problem.
But what if we took a moment to step back and fact-check our assumptions? What if, instead of reacting immediately, we paused to consider whether our perception of the situation aligns with reality?
The Lesson Alexia Taught Me (Yes, Really)
Alexia’s sassy-but-not-really response was a reminder that so much of our conflict is self-created. My perception of her “attitude” was based on how I’d respond in a similar situation, not on any actual intent (because, again, she’s a device). It’s a lesson in projection: we often see the world not as it is, but as we are.
Now, I’m not saying you’ll never encounter someone who’s genuinely giving you attitude. But before you fire back with your own “matching energy,” ask yourself:
Is this really about me, or could they just be having a bad day?
Is there a chance I’m misinterpreting their tone or intent?
How would this situation look if I gave them the benefit of the doubt?
The Takeaway
In a world full of Alexias (and humans), we have a choice: react based on perception, or respond based on clarity. The next time you feel tempted to “match energies,” take a beat. Fact-check your feelings. You might just find that the conflict you’re gearing up for doesn’t actually exist. And if it does? Well, at least you’ll be going in with a clear head and fewer imaginary grudges.
As for me and Alexia? We’re back on speaking terms. But I’ll admit, I’m still side-eyeing her just a little.
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