I can’t believe I’m admitting to this. No, scratch that—I’m admitting to this because if even one person learns from my mistake, it’ll be worth it.
Picture it: 5:46 PM on a Wednesday. I’m driving to pick up my rugrats from daycare. Daycare closes at 6:00 PM sharp, and I’m scheduled to hop on a work call at… you guessed it, 6:00 PM. I’m racing to daycare (within the speed limit—calm down, no need to call my cop spouse; I hear it enough at home).
While multitasking like a pro, I’m also on the phone with my mom, telling her about the epic mistake I just made. Here’s the deal: I applied for a Women’s Entrepreneur program, got accepted… and celebrated! But then, three days later, I got into another Women’s Entrepreneur program. Both are fantastic opportunities for growth and development, but now I’m panicking because my plate is already overflowing.
Let me paint you a picture of my current life:
Three kids under the age of 10.
Full-time job.
Running a private practice.
Attending a doctoral program (this semester I’m taking 9 credits instead of my usual 6, because, you know, why not?).
And now I’ve signed up for not one, but two intense entrepreneurial programs. As I frantically ask my mom for advice, I’m hit with a realization: this isn’t the first time I’ve done this to myself. Welcome to the life of self-sabotage wrapped in a shiny superwoman cape.
Superwoman Schema Meets Imposter Syndrome
If I’m being real, my self-sabotaging tendencies often stem from two things: the superwoman schema and imposter syndrome. The superwoman schema makes me feel like I must do it all—and perfectly, of course. Add imposter syndrome to the mix, and I’m constantly trying to prove my worth by piling on more and more responsibilities, hoping none of it spills over. Spoiler alert: it always spills.
But why do we do this to ourselves? And more importantly, how do we stop?
Acknowledging the Cycle
The first step is simple: acknowledge when it’s happening. If you find yourself constantly adding to your plate without considering the consequences, pause. Take a step back and ask, “Why am I doing this? Is this serving me, or am I just trying to prove something?”
Next, examine your priorities. What’s most important to you right now? It’s okay to strive for harmony instead of balance. Let’s be real—all things are not equal in our lives. Some things need your attention now; others can wait. It’s not about dropping the ball; it’s about deciding which balls are glass and which ones are rubber.
Embracing Duality
Life isn’t black and white. Two seemingly opposite things can exist at the same time. Sure, “if not now, then when?” is motivating. But so is “better late than never.” The key is figuring out what works for you in the moment.
Instead of always saying yes, how about we pause and consider: does this align with my goals? Will this bring joy or value to my life? If the answer is no, it’s okay to let it go. Your future self will thank you for creating space to breathe.
Be Kind to Yourself
This is your reminder to be kind to yourself—both your current and future self. They deserve compassion, rest, and the grace to make mistakes without judgment. So, the next time you find yourself signing up for more than you can handle, take a breath and remember it’s okay to say no. It’s okay to prioritize what truly matters. And it’s more than okay to give yourself permission to do less.
As for me? I’m still figuring it out. But one thing’s for sure: I’m learning to swap self-sabotage for self-care. One step at a time.
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